We have been challenged to make photography visible by exploring the discourse within which we operate, the context that drives our structural and verbal language. To develop the almost non-existent muscle of noticing ourselves apart from ourselves.
I firmly believe that none of this is personal to me, although the angst might appear that way. Instead, it all is part of being human. Thus, compassion for myself, as I have for others, might be something new to remember to bring to the upcoming day of shooting.
My experience of the Photographer in Angst:
I'm aware of the photographic pull to shoot the graffiti wall, the ornate temple roof silhouetted against the blazing sky, the ritual incense offering in front of the buddha, and I say, "So what? It is cliche and meaningless." And my camera remains untouched in its bag. I see my response is automatic. Am I choosing not to shoot, or am I bound to it? Either way, there is really no experience of freedom. Perhaps it's time today to dust off the camera which has laid silent for years and abandon the restraints-shoot proudly only the obvious and see what I get!
As I was reminded, inspiration is 90% sweat.
One final unrelated thought which Liu Heung Shing mentioned at our dinner last night and which has me pondering: We think of photography as a universal language, but perhaps instead it is indigenous. If this is true, as I walk the sites of Beijing, wherever I go I can only bring my american self to what I see and how I interpret it. If I'm looking to see from a Chinese point of view, I will never ever find it. I will always be an outsider here.
The only response is to just be me and shoot!
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